Helping Kids Build Their Own Regulation Toolbox

Once children feel safe and supported through co-regulation, they can begin developing their own emotional regulation skills. Here are some strategies to help:

1. Name the Emotion

Helping children label their feelings increases emotional awareness. Use phrases like:

• “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated because your block tower fell over.”

• “I wonder if you’re feeling nervous about the new school today.”

Using emotion charts or books about feelings can also be helpful.

2. Teach Breathing Techniques

Deep breathing helps calm the nervous system. Try:

• “Balloon Breaths” – Inhale deeply as if blowing up a balloon, then exhale slowly.

• “Smell the Flower, Blow Out the Candle” – Inhale like smelling a flower, exhale like blowing out a candle.

3. Use Movement to Release Energy

Sometimes big emotions get stuck in the body. Encourage movement-based regulation, such as:

• Jumping jacks or a dance break

• Running outside or climbing

• Using a weighted blanket or deep pressure squeezes

4. Create a Calm-Down Space

Having a quiet, cozy spot with pillows, stuffed animals, or sensory items can help kids reset when overwhelmed. This is not a punishment space, but a safe retreat.

5. Use Visual or Sensory Tools

Some kids benefit from tangible tools to regulate, such as:

• Fidget toys or stress balls

• Sensory bins with rice or sand

• A feelings thermometer to rate their emotions

6. Model & Practice Coping Strategies

Teaching regulation skills during calm moments is key. Role-play scenarios, read books about emotions, and practice skills like problem-solving when emotions aren’t high.

Final Thoughts

Big emotions aren’t bad emotions—they’re simply part of being human. When children struggle with regulation, they need connection before correction. By staying present, offering co-regulation, and teaching calming techniques, you are helping your child build lifelong emotional resilience.

If your child continues to struggle with overwhelming emotions, therapy—especially play therapy—can provide a safe space to explore feelings and build regulation skills.

Would you like personalized support for your child? Contact me to learn more about how therapy can help!